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Headmaster's Page

July 2010

Dear Parents, Guardians and Friends

The last few weeks have passed in a blur, with so many good things happening in succession. Since the last newsletter we have had an array of events including plays, concerts, swimming galas, matches, a record cricket innings, trips to Paris and Devon, an amazing art exhibition and a brilliant evening with Charles Hazlewood.

School years always finish with a bang rather than a whimper and that is the way they should be. This has certainly been the case this year. However, there is always a sadness as another year group of children leave us with their families, having been part of the heartbeat of the School for many years. We wish them all well as they set off on their new journeys.

Cricket: The day after Sports Day our 1st XI travelled to Malvern College to take part in an eight over competition with nine other prep schools. The team defeated Elstree, Winterfold, Beaudesert and The Downs in the group matches, with Charlie S (166 runs including one 50) and Will C (119 runs) scoring the bulk of the team's runs. In the semi-finals the 1st XI defeated Averley School by six wickets before losing the final by 22 runs. It was a very successful day with wonderful hospitality from Malvern College, including the provision of a full players' strip for all who took part.

The individual highlight of the season took place in the final match of the season against the touring Fulham Prep 1st XI. In a thirty over match the team's captain, Will C, scored an unbeaten 200 out of a team total of 314 for 4 before dismissing Fulham for 100. Will's score and his average for the season (which was over 100) are records in the School's recorded history and a wonderful feat.

Athletics: Congratulations to Jess A and Charlie S on their success at the Nationals. Jessica won a bronze medal in the shot putt and Charlie S won a bronze medal in the javelin, while Hannah L only just missed a medal in the sprint. Well done to the whole team.

Congratulations to Tom H in qualifying as a Junior Open Water Diver, part of the Professional Association of Diving Instruction. Tom had to complete five knowledge reviews, four close water dives, a 200 metre swim and ten minutes treading water and is one of the youngest to qualify.

Child Care/Creche: The Governors are conducting a feasibility study on the establishment of a childcare facility for three-month-olds to three-year-olds operating for up to 50 weeks per year. Part of the study is to try and ascertain demand for places, as they would be restricted to a maximum of 15. While we are not taking formal registrations, I would be very interested to receive provisional expressions of interest or suggestions to hm@sherborneprep.org.

New Staff: Fiona Reay joins us in September as the Head of English. Fiona is an Old Prepper and Old Girl of Sherborne Girls. She has taught in schools including The British School in Paris, New Lodge Prep School in Dorking and Repton School in Dubai. Fiona has a BEd (Hons) majoring in English and a Masters of Education. She is an experienced English and drama teacher, a qualified hockey coach and has qualifications in rounders, swimming and sailing.

Lucy Wallington joins us with a BA (Hons) in English Language and Linguistics from Durham University and a PGCE in Primary French from Cambridge. She is an accomplished musician with ABRSM Grade 8 Violin with Distinction.

Jeremy Action joins us from Moor Park School and previously taught at Thomas's in Clapham. He has a BA (Hons) in English and Religious Education from Edinburgh, a post-graduate certificate in Environmental Philosophy from Murdoch University in Western Australia and a PGCE from Lancaster University. Jeremy has coached the 1st XV and colts hockey and cricket teams at Moor Park and has a passion for sports.

Sherborne at Work Day: In order to simplify matters, we have arranged for all pupils who are attending to do so on the same day, which will be 16 September. Parents who have arranged to visit on the alternative date need to let me know.

Education for Life: We are always looking forward at how our alumni progress through their senior schools and beyond. With this in mind, the prize list for Sherborne School this year makes very pleasing reading, with a number of Old Preppers doing very well indeed. Top subject prizes were won by Old Preppers in English and Latin, Ancient History, Design Technology, Art and Biology. Old Preppers also won the Peter Such International Baccalaureate Award and the Edwin Davis Services (CCF) Award, as well as two Old Preppers being made Head Boys at King's Bruton and Green House.

September Classes: The name of your children's form teacher for September has been included in the end of term mailing. Year 6 will be divided into three classes. Year 7 will be set, by and large, according to the requirements of their future schools.

Junior Maths Challenge: Once again our mathmaticians have performed very well in this national competition. Matthew K, Rory M and Harry R were awarded gold. Charlie A, William B, Hugo B, Thomas B, Jack C, Lizzie F, Perry J, Beth S, Emily S, Charlie S and Georgie W were awarded silver. Jess A, Dominic B, Rachel B, William C, Alexander D, Charlotte E, Alice E, Eleanor E, India G, Robert O, Connor T, Oliver R, Gregor T and Hamish W were awarded bronze and Rory M was awarded Best in School.

House Points: The final house points for the term are Romans (2960), Greeks (2880), Trojans (2780) and Normans (2540).

Commemoration Service Retiring Collection: The collection has been divided between Educaid and The Joseph Weld Hospice, with each receiving £279.18.

In closing, thank you one and all for all your support for The Prep over the past twelve months. It has been a wonderful year, full of excitement and achievement. I have had many messages from parents of leavers and almost all mention, first and foremost, how happy their children have been here and that is the best accolade of all. The children are remarkable - they succeed in so many fields and having happy confident children should always be our goal.

May I take this opportunity to wish you all a lovely summer holiday

Kind regards

Peter Tait

Headmaster



Headmaster's Page

The Damage Done

"If you want to see what your children are capable of, you must stop giving them things." Unknown

"Families centered on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids. Most of us have created child-centred families, where our children hold priority over our time, energy and attention. But as we break our back for our kids, our marriage and self-fulfilment go out the window while our children become more demanding and dissatisfied." David Code

"As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it, or leave it." Buddy Hackett

 

Every so often one reads an article that beggars belief. One such article recently appeared in the Daily Telegraph (17 February) based on a survey conducted of some 2000 parents. Amongst its findings was the confession that a quarter of parents felt too worried to punish their children because they thought that to do so might upset them. And then, in the very next paragraph 85% of the very same parents felt that children today had 'little or no discipline'. One wonders at how they explained away the obvious correlation between the two observations and if parents have either become particularly stupid or were actually struggling with the very real pressures of raising children in our new society.

Whether the result of parental peer pressure, whereby parents strive to ensure that their child has the same opportunities, the same raft of additions to their curriculum vitae as those given by other parents to their children or pressure foisted on them by the very real competition for school or university places, it cannot be easy. At least a quarter of those polled were sufficiently aware to admit that they wished they had been stricter with their offspring at an earlier age, but it was sobering reading how parents no longer enjoyed the pleasure of bringing up their children for fear that by not pushing them, they could surrender an advantage to another child, thereby failing their own.

Saddest of all was the admission that when asked how they saw their role 55% considered themselves more of a friend than a parent. So desperate are they to stay connected with their children, that the very basis of parenthood has been jettisoned in order to alow the child centre stage.

Ironically, never before have parents tried so hard to get it right. A recent survey conducted by Dr Oriel Sullivan, a leading sociologist at Oxford University (Daily Telegraph, 7 April) established that parents spend triple the amount of time with their children compared with a generation ago as middle classes try to give their offspring a head start in life. Men especially are spending far more time with their children than their fathers did with them, spending ten times the amount of time compared with 25 years ago. Meanwhile, many working mothers, in an attempt to make up for working longer hours, are caring for their children more dutifully, going on cultural trips or reading to them - whereas in previous generations many parents were more relaxed about children entertaining themselves.

Television presenter Kirsty Young (BBC News, 5 January) provoked considerable comment earlier in the year when she condemed pushy parents, seeing it as a disease whereby adults treated their offspring as 'extensions of their own success'. Her arguments that parents were trying to shape their children into 'Little Einsteins' - an unfortunate example considering Einstein's rather ordinary school career - met with a good deal of support. She was not without her critics, however, who accused her of not living in the real world in which parents will do pretty much anything to give their children the best possible start in life, reducing the argument to a struggle borne of the lack of opportunity and equality in a failed education system.

In the age of helicopter parents, so-called, it is easier to be critical than helpful, easier to identify the problem, but less easy to show a way out. Sometimes, in parenting as in all else, the harder one tries, the worse it gets, the more time and resources one spends, the less satisfactory the outcome. Just as, sometimes, the more you try to push children in a particular direction, the more obtuse and resistant they can become. Children need friends, but they don't need their parents to be those friends. Instead, they need parents to offer portage, guidance and steerage. They need them to lead by example, by enthusing, by offering opportunity and desist from measuring every minute of childhood by the profitable use made of each of the sixty seconds.

It is a parent's instinct to fight for one's brood, but it is important, also, that we go back to the roles that we were intended for, as children, parents and teachers respectively. That way we can allow our children the time to enjoy their childhood, confident that someone who is grown up is looking after them.

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

Diane Loomans - If I had my Child to Raise Over Again
 
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